" if u feel like giving up,look at the two idiots over der "
when u feel like giving up,not only u are disappointing those who are deprived of the chance,u make them look like more idiots,cox they continue trying even though ya haf given up.
emoemoemokid infect me ; 2:30 AM
Saturday, March 26, 2005
hitch u ALMOST make me cry. i love those lines.scriptwriter ya did it well.u poked me hard on my heart and tears were gushing.ALMOST.
i love scriptwriters being creative.well,dats makes my life worthwhile watching some really emotional and creative films or programmes.
imagine this. a young girl who refuses to speak ( childhood nightmares and phobias ) she haf turned away from screaming or talking her father who tries ways and ways to help her regain her confidence,help her talk playing hide and seek wf the girl on e beach the father blindfolded,moves and moves nearer into e waters. any moment he wil get swept by the waves. the young girl claps her hands continuously,tears trickling yet she din call out to her father, telling him the impending danger. she kips crying,and clapping her father moves nearer and deeper into e sea. in e end,the girl did not utter a sound. a man saved e father who was drowning. later den i came to realise the father had planned everything to make the girl cry out for his name..even when it means sacrificing his life. determined he wannted her to speak.at least a word "daddy"
emoemoemokid infect me ; 11:15 PM
gues its been a real long time since i've blogged=) arent ya guys happy to see me!haha.i am back at e speed of light.alrite.enuff of such crap.i am getting lame u see..haha..i tink i haf really gained a lot from the first 3 mths rite.i know its neber academically..cox i can remember which tutorial i stopped for maths.god.TUTORIAL 2.i din even bother to copy onwards.i am screewed..initially i was tinking of poly all e while..when my frens tot me profusely that i wil never choose to go to a poly cox of my good grades ( 10 in prelims,i suppose they called it god ) i told them i wil be going to a poly no matter what.i wanna pursue a directing dream rite..i want to be a director , i want to be an dj , or rather i wantt to be an actor.i love all this.i love performing.but again i tot for a moment,i am not darling enuff,i am not confident enuff ,in front of a crowd , in front of so many ppl.i dun dare.dun dare to let go of my usual self and perform without restrictions,perform as if noone is looking at me.i carn take acting.i carn enter drama..and one day after i went for drama audition,i QUIT.i carn.i dun blive how ppl managed to act so boldly,so confidently in front of so many eyes.i just carn do it.alrite,my family opposes me to do filming and stuff.its just unrealistic.everyone tells me so.its SO SO SO unrealistic.dream on,its just a dream.take buusiness and stuff.can help e family wf the own business..i like business but i supoose i love filming more..u go to poly,but ya dun take filming..forget it.i wil not want to go to a poly if i were not given a chance to take filming or mass.com...i wld rather go to a jc and study business.at least i dun get separated from my frens.my life.my basketball.ok.now i landed up back in aj,tinking that i wil doing my best for a-level and doing business in university..ok.i wil be mugging like hell.i wil be losing all my freedom.all my creativity.i guess i haf been blessed wf a creative mind.but guess that no more scriptwriting and stuff is for me.i wrote 2 scripts.one movie script in the process.but i let go writing since 2 mths ago.i lost e passion.just like the passion i haf for basketball.i am out of e team.i am not selected..i am just feeling miserable.argx!if i haf not told the teacher in charge 3 mths ago,i am leaving for poly.i guess he wil train me in e team rite.it doesnt feel good when i go for trainings and i dun get to play at all.he doesnt even want me.whu cares.i skipped all e trg,hopping i can train beta alone.guess that tot did not hold on for long.soon i skipped training,using the time to play play and play everything except ball.when i was videoing recording for e team,instead of playing for e team on e court.sweating it out.i feel that i am lost alredy.i duno where i can find the real me.when can i find back e old me.the one who s putting every soul into basketball,playing and striving hard to win e game.i no longer was thirsty for victory,i wasnt confident enuff to play ball anymore.stronger challengeers always come,and again,i lost e confidence to play wf them..cox i tink that they make e difference not me.i like to shine.i bet everyone does.take that shot.wad r ya afraid of.ppl tell me all the time.but i insisted in passing the ball to someone.maybe not becox i was creating chance for everyone to play e game better.instead i was hoping that someone else wil take the ball and score.and even if he doesnt.the fault lies in him.i dun get any fault for passing.but instead if i wil go for e basket myself.i wil have a probability of being reprimanded by mates or teachers for not making the wisest choice.u wil nebver know how it feels to play in e team when u are not needed.sumtimes i just admire ppl who plays solo all by themselves.they get scolded by frens for being solo,but at least within them,they haf e urge and thirst to win.at least win all by themselves.i dun even haf e courage to do all that.SO disaapoointing it is.
emoemoemokid infect me ; 10:46 PM
Friday, March 18, 2005
"kor kor,you dropped a coin" I tilted my head,just to see a young boy tuggin my shirt.He looked up at the "giant" in front of him and again he said, " kor kor,your coin." The innocent kid handed e coin to the giant and rushed swiftly back into the cafe.He sat down beside his mother and started gobbling up the food on the table.
The simple yet sweet deed of that little boy just carn get off my mind..the innocence that he had..just to pick up a worthless 10cent-coin for a stranger..i dun tink i haf e innocence anymore.will i even bother to pick up a 10-cent-coin for someone i duno and run after him and returns him e coin..i miss those innocent days
emoemoemokid infect me ; 1:56 AM
Sunday, March 13, 2005
u r not a man " why ? " u dun dare to confess to e ger u liked " i dun like rejections ,moreover its over" why do u tink its over ? " i tink she 's got her cup of tea and i certainly not able to be good enuff for her " but u know in love,theresnt such ting as " NOT GOOD ENUFF ",its all psychology attack" no.thats rubbish" blive me,just let go of ya STUBBORN self-esteem and tell her how ya feel " no, i wil look stupid " u r not a MAN " i know,i wil never be one" dare to do whatever ya tink is right,bear the consequences,accept the fact,come back stronger" i am scared,i wil make mistakes" hu doesnt? " i dun wan to get disappointment anymore,she wil not like me,i wil not find my path" try falling." why ?" so den ya know the extent of pain ya can endure,den come back stronger the nex time round" thats sound so easy." that IS EASY" nah,she has her guy in mind,i 'll be extra one out.she wil not need me.i shd not bother her" STUPID" she wi ask for me when she need me" maybe ya dun even like her" why " cox ya haf always been single so the first gal who steped into ur life might seem to be rite 4 u" might seem ?" u might like her just cox noone else cared for u like how she did" let her out of ya life" HOW? finding the other love of ur life?" ball?" loneliness wil bring u to a higher level,u r alone and ya come back doubly stronger than ever." loneliness in exchange for victory?" just move on wf ur life,be a man,learnt to fall more instead of looking ahead for boulders."
emoemoemokid infect me ; 8:10 AM
yups.i haf not been blogging. i am physically too tired to blog,reach home so late everyday,but certainly more activities that kept me energetic thru this days. gotta agree that jc life more enriching than sec school life.but definitely sec school life much beta in one way,i feel more comfortable and at ease.suddenly realised that theres something in sec school that i carn bring into jc,my frens who used to be laming and clowning around wf me.where are all of them?we head towards a diff. life, diff. goal maybe.miss all those fun.just realised that all human haf the same mistake.cherishing tings onli when its too late.din reli treasure u all.its all gone now.the feeling i carn find in jc.nowadays dun blog much le.cox i dun feel secure anymore.i dun wan to write all abt myself,that just dun seem right.feel right.shd be right.maybe i am scared to show.lala.i dun wan anyone to get worried for me.i am perfectly fine.some events i wil tell u that brighten up my day- 1st.going out wf e gang to look for a suitable guitar which i broke,carn find a replacement.and now i am broke again.THat night,i feel so good walking in e park .i feel so DEAD.HAHA.2nd.olevel results.kinda surprised by e luck that has been entangling me all this while.luv them.got b3 for english though i din finish my compo.GLAD.*phew*but i hoped i put in my best during o levels.shd have got an a1,reli.i am confident.but its over.all my efforts mostly paid off.except CHEM.so disappointing.but its ok.i can learn from where i fall.I BELONG TO CHEM.MRS JEAN LEE.get alife.stop suanning me,always breaking my fragile heart.HAHA.got 9 pts ba.satisfactory.carry on wf my life like e way it is.gif up my dream of becoming a director or something.its not REALISTIC.*KNOCK KNOCK*wake up.u dun have e passion,ya just like to brag.i blived.cum on.i am not born to be a intelligent script writer.yar.stay in jc,go to university , get a degree.get a stable job.get a iron rice bowl.hide ya bowl well like how ya hide ya talents if ya ever have.dun make sense.just feel like blurrrrrping everything out in one go.i am free.went crash sajc,njc and tjc.my frens seem to be enjoying.i blived life wil turn out fine for them.i am out of the basketball team.i am not good enuff.i dun have e confidence i once have." u r NOT e STAR.just a player on e bench.or rather not even qualified for e chance to sit on e qualified BENCH.move ur ass"i wil take it as an encouragement.i wil be striding faster and faster,coming back stronger than ever.
emoemoemokid infect me ; 7:50 AM
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
hey. its been more than a month since i firrst blogged. guess 3 mths is coming to an end. everythin happened so fast and ended so fast.indeed it was a dream. from the first orientation where i haf to do stupid punishments to the family day which was a wonderful experience to being anxious for the o level results. god. my english sucks. but luckily i mean real lucky i am able to pass thru o levels/ now pondering abt choices that has to be made in 2 days time. the best jc i should go ? or the poly courses i haf yearned for? or rather the jc which i trained my social confidence once in? my frens and wonderful peeps that i knew from anderson jc.part of my life. the happiness they injected in me.i carn forget this times. can i turn back the clock / wil time just stop for a moment so i wil not have a blurred image of how all u look in the years to come.
